Now Look What They Gone and Did

Took the world’s most perfect Action B-Movie, Crank, and made a sequel…



What are the criteria for a perfect Action B Movie?

Ludicrous premise: Man injected with deadly poison must keep adrenaline jacked to stay alive.

Optimal running length: 88 minutes

Crazy stunts/hijinks that keep you in your disbelief suspension coma: Having sex in a public place / standing on a motorcycle while the theme song from Midnight Cowboy plays / car chases / etc.

(see Transporter 2 for crazy stunts/hijinks that shatter your willingness to accept a movie on its own terms – like flicking a bomb off the bottom of your car by nicking the top of a bridge while the car jumps over it. Until the sequels, Transporter was up there in the Perfect Action B Movie sweepstakes. Especially with the ludicrously named villain: Wall Street (also the villain in Torque, another enjoyable B movie)

A willingness to kill off the main character that still doesn’t spoil your desire to still see the movie: But I guess with this sequel that shit flies out the window.

Oh yeah, and the most perfect criteria: NO FRICKIN' SEQUELS!!!

Plus, Crank features a cameo from It’s Always Sunny’s Dennis!

(Hat Tip: The Onion)